Adults share thoughts, concerns
Not only young people write to me through my column. To kick off the New Year, I selected a parent and a grandparent email to share.
Q. I appreciate the way you support teachers in your column and your social media posts. I taught for 45 years, mostly middle school. My teacher colleagues thought I was a glutton for punishment, but I loved those ages. My very best thing about teaching? Being remembered by a former student. Since I live in a small community, this happens a lot and I love it! My next best thing is the number of students who entered teaching and told me I influenced their choice. I cannot think of a better legacy! Finally, I am blessed to know so many wonderful families. When I retired, I received many cards and letters – I reread them today. I know I’m biased, but I think teaching is the most wonderful profession of all. – Retired and proud
Mary Jo’s Response: You should be proud. Thank you for your kind words and for your years of service to young people and to your community. I agree with you; I absolutely love teaching middle schoolers. I find joy in interacting with all ages, from K-12, but there’s something special about sixth- through- eighth-graders. Some adults are wary of them, but I find them fun to teach. I agree with the three blessings of teaching you mention. Nothing is more wonderful than being remembered by a former student. Thank you again, and I appreciate you taking the time to write.
Q. I’m not a teen but I’m raising one and I’m a grandma. My grandson is 15. He’s a good kid. He helps around the house, doing the things we cannot do as well now that we’re older. He cuts the grass in the spring and shovels show in the winter! He goes with me to the market and helps me carry groceries into the house. I count on him for a lot, and he doesn’t complain. Why am I writing? Because I don’t know if he’s okay. His grades are good. He doesn’t get into trouble. His coaches rave about him. But when I ask him how he’s doing, he only says things like “I’m fine” and “I’m good.” I only raised one child, his mom, may she rest in peace, and she was a talker. I heard so many “he said, she said” stories when she was in high school. So, I’m worried. Is he unhappy, do you think? – Worried meemaw
Mary Jo’s Response: Your grandson sounds like a gem! I’m pleased he has you in his life and you have him. I cannot speak to his happiness, but I can reassure you – not all teens are talkers. Some are reticent. Our son was an almost monosyllabic teen who responded to questions much like your grandson. He was and is a well-adjusted person who is indeed happy. People are unique. Communication styles vary by person. There are also many ways to say “I love you, I’m content” besides using words. His actions speak to his commitment to you and the family. His willingness to shop with you and take care of your home speaks loudly.
May I suggest you call out your concerns with him? You might even want to share this column in the newspaper and say, “That’s me!” Reassure him that you don’t want to pry but want to know how he feels.
You might try a fun communication exercise I use with our teens who are training to be peer educators. Two people interact: Person A and Person 1 (because there are no second people in my classes). Person A talks first, sharing all their favorite things – favorite books, games, foods, movies, music, etc. Person 1 may not speak but must listen intently. After a minute, Person 1 tells Person A what they said. Then, the couple switches roles. Teens typically laugh a lot and start talking without overthinking.
I wish you and your grandson health and joy.
Have a question? Send it to Dr. Mary Jo Podgurski’s email podmj@healthyteens.com.